Union of the Masterminds
by SuperNinjaMonkeys
Summary: The Akatsuki clan and Organization XIII have chosen to be included in a Total Drama Island based game show. Not many Pairings, but teams shall be constructed in order to win whatever prize they are going for! Hosts include Naruto, Sora, Sakura, and Riku.
1. Take 1: Introductions

Haddy-Chan: Omg, first fanfic! YAAAY! Soo… I mite write differently so here's a little guide…

_Actions in italics (not mostly used)_

'**BOLDED and usually with a ' is a thought!**

Then regular is self-explanatory...

UNDERLINED! Is when a HOST is speaking. (Naruto, Sora, Riku, Sakura)

Haddy: So Lemme list mah cast X3 So it's an Organization XIII and Akatsuki crossover. Basically just the funny encounters, not really any romance. All of the two teams. It's like a game show, people get sent home. Tobi is still Tobi sometimes but other times he's smarter (Madara) and sometimes characters call him Madara (Don't get confused!)

First Scene, TAKE 1!

Sora: ANNND welcome to the first Union of The Masterminds

Sakura: MASTERMINDS? 

Riku: they aren't really masterminds. We just try to flatter them.

Naruto: BELIEVE IT! 

Sora: Well anyways, we have two teams, Akatsuki which contains Sasori, Pain, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Tobi, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu. 

Sakura: Organization XIII includes Roxas, Axel, Demyx, Zexion, Luxord, Xemnas, Saix, Vexen, Xion, and Larxene. Xigbar had legal issues regarding the fact that he's a rapist. 

Sora: You weren't supposed to say that, Sakura...

Sakura: and I care?

Riku: Oh Just go to the set!

_To The Set of Union of the Mastermind. (INFO: all members have just arrived. Set is on a mountain!)_

_Akatsuki_

"Are we there yet, Dei-san?" Tobi whined. Deidara simply smacked him and jogged up to walk with Sasori.

Catching the little interaction, Pain glanced at Konan and said, "Should I do something? I mean, we all need to be a TEAM!"

Konan shrugged, without looking at him, instead, focusing on the small sidewalk to the entrance of the Mountain Hotel Lobby. Pain noticed this and let his shoulders slump. **Would she ever let her guard down around me...?** he thought to himself miserably. Looking up ahead he saw his so-called team split up in mostly pairs. Sasori had accepted Deidara, Kisame and Itachi were always together anyways, Kakuzu had chosen Tobi instead of Hidan this time, so that left Zetsu with Hidan. This annoyed Pain. "Guys," he yelled, "we're a team, now! If we want to win, we have to stick together."

Kisame glanced back at his angry leader and chuckled. Itachi caught him off guard when he said, "should we team up with Madara and Kakuzu, just to get Pain off our backs?" Kisame thought this over. He didn't particularly like Tobi. Kakuzu could be easy to deal with. He wasn't annoying, but he wasn't quite like Itachi. Kisame nodded, finally agreeing as Itachi swerved over to the left and merged his duo with Madara's. Kakuzu must have gotten the notion because all he did was glance at Itachi and nod, and then went back to watching the other duos slowly form together.

Pain watched in contentment as his team finally began to unite for once. Feeling proud, he turned to talk to Konan, but was put down to see she was walking up to the Deidara-Zetsu union. Pain quickly jogged up to the Itachi-Kakuzu union to at least even out their divided team. **Will my team reunite?** Pain thought, as they reached the lobby.

_Organization XIII (Other mountain side)_

**Oh god, could Luxord increase our chances of winning?** Axel thought as a smirk pulled at his lips. **We might have a secret weapon. **

"What's so funny," Roxas asked emotionlessly. Xion, walking on the other side of him, peeked around Roxas's shoulder to look at Axel too.

Axel shrugged easily, "based on my data of our enemies, they don't seem to have anyone quite like our little lucky bastard Luxord." Roxas raised an eyebrow, an obvious signal that he was no longer interested. Xion, on the other hand, grinned a little.

"Luxord always wins! Remember that time when Luxord was a lawyer and he-"

"Shh," Saix interrupted from behind, "publicity, Xigbar's already behind bars." Roxas chuckled at the thought. Axel, happy to see Roxas laughing, slung an arm around Roxas's shoulder.

Saix rolled his eyes at the almost-obvious connect there and slinked back to his superior. Xemnas didn't even send him so much of a glance. Saix sighed. He was used to being ignored by his leader; he just hoped it wouldn't be during the challenges.

Seeing Saix being put down again, Larxene laughed, a melodious shrill. Demyx yawned, bored of the usual drama they saw every day. "If you fall asleep, you'll be leaving this mountain in a body bag," Larxene hissed at Demyx.

"Is that a threat, oh great Larxene?" he asked, faking innocence, but inside he was slightly appalled. Larxene pouted, she couldn't hurt him when he acted cute an innocent or when he called her great. Sometimes he was just so unfair to her, she wanted to make feel threatened, but he was so laid-back that he shrugged it off. She resigned with a sigh, echoing Saix's.

"Pick a card, dimwit!" Luxord's booming voice was heard throughout the team, making its way to the lobby. Zexion was the poor victim this time, though. Usually it was Xigbar to lose a couple 100 munny to the gambling king. Zexion played though. He tossed Luxord a folded up wad of munny and continued reading his book. He randomly pointed to a card, the middle one, and started reading another page.

Luxord grinned and flipped it over, realizing Zexion had won, and his smile slowing dropped. Noticing that Zexion hadn't looked up, he switched the cards and laughed loudly, "you lose again, Zexi! Too bad," he started to shuffle the desk for another game when Zexion fell back and hid behind Saix. He put his finger to his lips, a world-wide motion to 'keep quiet'. Saix nodded to his long-time friend and stood up straighter, though it did no good, Zexion was already short enough to hide without fail.

As the group started to wind down with the approaching looming double doors to the extravagant-looking red-brick hotel, they started to assume their regular formation. They moved like wolves. Xemnas as the alpha; Vexen, Zexion, Axel, Luxord, and Demyx as the betas; and Roxas, Xion, and Larxene as the omegas. The doors didn't seem to faze them as they stepped through to their fate for the next few weeks, or for some, the next few days.

_**CUT!**_

Naruto: Not much drama. 

Sakura: are you kidding? Saix and Mansex, Konan and Pain, maybe Deidara and Tobi. 

Riku: hehe… mansex…

Sakura: c'mon! I didn't even MAKE that one up!

Sora: this was the first episode. Well… actually only the introductions. Next episode will have a challenge. 

Riku: Yeah, and we'll go take a deeper look inside the hotel.

Naruto: that's what she said. 

Sakura: _SLAP._

Naruto: WTF?

Sora: PRESS THE PRETTY REVIEW BUTTON!


	2. Take 2: The Challenge is Decided

Haddy: Chapter TWO! Btw, some offensive language (mainly Hidan and probably Luxord) rated T!

_TO THE HOSTS!_

Sora: Yes, the wonderful hosts. 

Sakura: Indeed. 

Naruto: BELIEVE IT!

Sakura: Can we replace him? 

Riku: Dunno.

Sora: TO THE SET!

_To The Set!_

_Take Two: The Challenge._

_Akatsuki_

"How the fuck can we compete with them," he screeched inside the team huddle, "they move like wolves!" Hidan was having the most trouble calming down since the arrival of the enemies. Kakuzu wasn't helping him though. He often mumbled under his breath, which made Hidan scream at him. Tobi offered to pray to Joshin with Hidan, but he even refused that.

"If we work together, and stop arguing," Pain growled and shot a glance at Hidan and Kakuzu, "we could stand a chance and survive another round." Pain had seen the leader of the Organization XIII, actually at a Comic Con, once before and he knew how orderly he was. He wouldn't let his team step out of line, very much at the least.

Tobi wasn't included in the team huddle. Right now, his Madara intelligence had deserted him, leaving his mind to wander and his eye to spot shiny things. His nemeses, shiny and sparkly things, like Edward Cullen, were his main distraction. No matter what his intelligence level was, they always caught his attention and held it until they disappeared. Or until Pain smashed it. Tobi glanced around and came face-to-face with one of the rival team's member. "Oh," Tobi said in surprise, "hi there!"

Roxas, of the Organization, simply stared, tracing the swirls of Tobi's mask with his eyes.

Tobi slumped his shoulders, ready to be insulted, when Roxas smiled a little and said, "I like the orange in it, it gives it an artistic feel." Tobi widened his eye in shock and clapped.

"Art?" he asked, remember one of Sasori and Deidra's art conversations, "my mask is art?"

Roxas nodded, "at least, I like it." Roxas offered his hand out, a handshake. Tobi shook his hand goofily and jumped up and down, almost radiating his happiness.

Konan took that moment to glance behind the huddle to find Tobi and the enemy. She tapped Pain's should to tell him, but he turned to her in that expectant expression that looked like he wanted a kiss. She pointed behind her at Tobi, without turning from the huddle and without glancing up at him. She wouldn't pleasure him in hearing her voice, not today.

"Madara," Pain yelled, "huddle!"

Tobi waved bye to Roxas and sprinted to the huddle, without realizing Pain had called Madara. Pain looked at him expectantly, like he was supposed to be a butterfly. Tobi giggled at that image of a butterfly with his swirly mask. The whole team stared at Tobi, awaiting Madara's excellent plans and ideas. Tobi finally met their gazes. More butterflies with masks, he chuckled more.

"Will you just shut the fuck up and do your alternate personality shit and be smart for us today dipshit?" Hidan growled.

Instantly, Tobi remembered what he was supposed to be. Deidara rolled his eyes, **how stupid could they both be, un?**

"Madara," Pain insisted, "not Tobi."

Madara took over Tobi easily, though he was prepared in case something shiny got into his line of vision. Seconds passed but none of them weren't filled with plans and ideas to bring the team together and beat the enemy.

A Bell rang, signaling a challenge as Pain had read in the instructions. Pain ran an inspection's look over his huddled team and nodded as they began to walk to the back of the room which held the Challenge Chambers.

_Organization XIII_

"But I still don't get why Roxas complimented that swirly guy," Demyx repeated in a stage whisper to Zexion and Larxene.

Zexion had put away his oversized books for the challenge that they were walking to for once. He waved off Demyx and said, "Can't you see, are you blind? He's creating a sense of trust, Madara and Tobi can't resist. When the time comes, they couldn't be able to stab Roxas in the back. Roxas is the most innocent looking person of the organization."

Larxene puffed, "I'm innocent looking, and I'm the only girl."

"I wonder," Zexion scratched his chin in one of his deep thought sessions.

Demyx saw his opportunity to point something out to Larxene, "hey, they only have one girl too, I vote 'catfight'." He giggled and made sure it didn't insult her. Instead, it made her look confused. He stopped laughing and acted serious, "what?"

"But if the blue-haired is the girl, then is that blonde person a guy? The one with the ponytail and he's clinging to that red-haired guy," she rudely pointed them out with her fingers.

Demyx frowned and looked close at the blonde kid. He was definitely a guy, after closer examination. He burst out laughing. Larxene looked at him questioningly. He held up a finger, bent at first, then he straightened it out, as if he were pointing to the ceiling. Larxene got the notion and joined him in hysterical laughter.

"Keep moving," Saix grumbled up ahead. He seemed to be the only one who wasn't excited. Entering the giant room didn't make him jittery, like the other members. He simply took a seat on the seats marked with an O and faced forward, focusing on the four hosts.

_Hosts_

_Naruto: annnnd the challenge shall be…_

_Sora: a simple task to start._

_Sakura: are you kidding me? A race? Is that all we have?_

_Riku: it's just to start, calm down, Sakura._

_Sora: yeah seriously…_

_Creator_

Haddy: And so that's Episode 2. The Challenge will be in Episode 3. Elimination in Episode 4. REVIEW! I don't Own any!


	3. Take 3: Winning with Lemons

Monkeys: Omg, I haven't written anything in a few days! Gotta catch up.

Lizard: Yeah or your one fan mite forget and leave.

Monkeys: SHUT UP! .

Lizard: Monkeys doesn't own any characters or songs. Only the little mountain hehe.

Monkeys: And I Love that little mountain from my imagination! Going to the hosts. Oh and I kicked Naruto. Hehe.

Lizard: Caution! She plans to put a few Yaoi scenes! No Lemons yet, but they get pretty close! So if you CANNOT stand gay scenes and couples skip over it or don't read it! GAWSH!

_To The Hosts_

Sora: Yes, The wonderful hosts. 

Sakura: Everything's been so… quiet since Naruto left.

Misty: Agreed.

Sora: It's weird to have a Pokémon trainer here though.

Riku: Very much. 

Sakura: So true.

Sora: ANYWAYS! We have just issued our first challenge, now the teams must decide who will race for the prize. There can only be three on each team racing so that is six people running. TO THE MOUNTAIN!

_To The Mountain_

The teams have decided on who will run. Pain wasn't particularly happy, but Konan was so he ignored the fact that his three were idiots. Deidara was a little smug about it. Tobi wasn't good for anything, but he was sure that Sasori could run. On the other side of the field, Xemnas was pleased with his decision. It made him feel powerful. After slaughtering these fools with the keyblade that Roxas held, he was sure that Kingdom Hearts would appear. On the lighter side, Saix was pretty sure they would win. He wasn't determined like Leader was, but he was happy. Demyx was happy that it wasn't him running like an idiot, but he was sad to see that Larxene had gotten picked. **Can she even run that fast?** He thought to himself a few times. Everyone seemed to nervously glance at the clock at the same time. Only two minutes to test their choices and their teammate's abilities in running.

Two minutes flew by, the bell rung and the giant doors to the outside opened by themselves. The loud creak seemed to affect everyone with its ominous sound. The judges only chuckled from their private room with the TVs and cameras.

_Akatsuki_

As the participants were released from the outdoor challenge, the team reunited to get the details. Deidara looked a little sad, dirt on his forehead and a leaf in his hair, Pain noted. Sasori looked the same as always, indifferent. He didn't really seem to care about if they won or not. Hidan, on the other hand, was in a cursing fit. He pointed at Deidara and screamed in another language.

"Er verdammte fiel und stolperte mir! Ich werde dich umbringen! Joshin haben keine Gnade!" Hidan screeched and glared, then sulked in a corner.

Tobi paused, using Madara skills to comprehend the German sentence. He got it, and then chuckled, "When did he fall, though?"

Deidara whimpered and sulked in the same corner, being very emo. Hidan glared and muttered something in German. Pain frowned, "Deidara fell? How and why, Sasori?"

Sasori shrugged and said simply, "I don't know, Leader-sama. Deidara was running with me and clinging and then suddenly he wasn't so I went on to winning the race."

Deidara stood up and pointed accusingly and Sasori, "You tripped me!" Sasori only shrugged and sat in one of the many chairs that lined the walls on their hotel floor. Zetsu laughed with Kisame, muttering jumbled words about the leaf in Deidara's hair. Deidara threw a plant at Kisame, causing Zetsu to run and dive for the plant before it hit the floor. Kisame held his hands up in protection, stepping back to let Zetsu get his friend.

Zetsu only glared at Deidara, who pouted in defeat. Pain sighed in exhaustion. "Did we win or not," He face-palmed.

"We won."

Konan grinned and hugged Sasori. He got this weird look, like he really didn't expect it. Pain didn't either. He didn't expect to have to murder his teammate now.

_Organization XIII_

"How could you lose," Saix frowned at Roxas. Roxas frowned back, animating his feelings clearly. Axel had his arm around Roxas, whispering things to calm him down. Saix didn't like their little union. He would have to cause trouble there now.

"The blonde girl fell, then that other weirdo fell and I tripped over his foot. Larxene was tail-gating," he sent a nasty look to Larxene, "So she fell on top of my ass."  
>Axel giggled, "She wanted some too?" He looked over his shoulder at Larxene, "He likes to play hard to get, by the way." Larxene was about to reach for Demyx's sitar, but he was already ahead of her and pulled it away. She stared at him, not saying anything.<p>

Demyx stared back, muttering, "I don't have any more coupons to fix this." She contented herself by picking the leaves off of flowers.

Xemnas had already turned in to his private room on their hotel floor. Saix regretted to tell him that they would have to send home on of their members tomorrow. He could imagine the profanity and objects thrown across the room. He was only happy that they all had soundproof rooms. He was sure that Roxas and Axel would also use this to their advantage.

Roxas wasn't done accusing everyone, though. "And that idiot," he growled at Vexen, "didn't even try! He sat on the sideline, filing his nails!"

Vexen rolled his eyes, like he didn't care. Saix now knew who would be going home the next day.

_A few hours later. Everyone is in their rooms. Except two people. _

_Akatsuki_

Sasori yawned, walked out of the shower to put on clothes, and sat on his bed. Today was irregularly hard for him. He didn't like tripping Deidara, or making him mad, but sometimes he needed space. Deidara wouldn't have understood. He would have sulked about it for days, and those days might have been one of Itachi's naked Fridays. Sasori would need the comfort from Deidara. Later, he could apologize, use a little charm, and then everything would be patched up quite nicely.

A knock on the door had him rolling off the king-sized bed and running to the door. He opened it and lost his quiet control. Deidara stood in front of his door, looking small and depressed. "Can I talk to you, Danna?" he used last name instead of his other nicknames. Sasori knew it would be serious. Maybe he could let his control falter a little tonight. He needed release.

Sasori nodded, stepping to the side and shutting the door after Deidara. Sasori slumped down on his bed with a sigh, grabbing his towel and putting it on his shoulders. Deidara stared at him, he seemed pretty shocked. Sasori looked at his expression and couldn't help the automatic cold tone, "What did you want, Dei?"

Deidara shook his head, as if to get rid of an image, and fumbled for words, "Well, Dann- I mean Sasori, I know you don't like that name very much, anyways I, uh, am just shocked at what you're wearing, in front of me at least."

Sasori frowned and looked at his clothes. **Oh yeah, I had only gotten to putting on boxers,** he closed his eyes and sighed. He felt dirty, sitting there in only his boxers and towel on his shoulders. No wonder Deidara was so nervous. He was obvious to the fact that Deidara had something for him, but he didn't act like he cared. He leaned against the wall, "I'm sorry, you caught me at a bad time, I just got done showering, I wasn't trying to-"

Deidara cut in, "N-No, Dann- Sasori, it's okay, it's fine, I get it, I like it better than when you're mad at me."

He frowned a little, replaying Deidara's words. He liked it? Liked what, Sasori practically seducing him? He did say he needed release… Maybe this was the kind of release he needed after all. "You like it?"

Deidara seemed to act more girl-ish by the moment; he blushed a little, and nodded. That was all the invitation he needed from Deidara. Sasori stood up, tossing his towel aside and pulled Deidara into a tight embrace. He smirked a little before their lips collided with little mental fireworks. He opened his mouth, pleased to feel that Deidara had also, and ran his tongue along Deidara's. Sasori gently tugged at the hem of Deidara's shirt, asking permission. Deidara pulled away a little and let Sasori quickly pull off his shirt and gently shove him onto the bed.

"I'm sorry for today-, "Sasori began.

Deidara silenced him with a kiss, mumbling, "It's okay, don't ruin the moment" Sasori obliged and began kissing Deidara's neck.

_Organization Xiii _

Axel snuggled up against Roxas. He loved the nights when they were away on a mission. They could be as loud as they wanted to be. Roxas didn't care that there were other members in the rooms next to them, they have a soundproof room. They probably couldn't hear them. Axel peeked up over Roxas's shoulder, "You're really into it this time, Roxy."

Roxas curled up in a ball, "I know."

Axel hugged him by the waist tightly. "I like it." They were just about to kiss, when Axel's phone started beeping. "Urgh, a text, lemme get it real quick," he grumbled and sat up, reaching for his pants. He read the message, reread it, and then laughed, handing it to Roxas.

**FROM: VEXEN 2:09AM**

**SUBJECT: N/A**

**Would you guys be quiet? I get it, Roxas is horny, but HUSH!**

Roxas blushed bright red and pulled the covers on his head. Axel laid down beside him, laughing occasionally. Their little secret love had been discovered.

_To The Hosts_

Sora: So Roxas and Axel, Sasori and Deidara. 

Misty: EWW!

Riku: *glares at Misty* stfu.

Sakura: hehe. FIGHHHT! DOG FIGHT!

Misty: WHAT?

Riku: CAT FIGHT!

Sora: Press the pretty review button before Sakura and Misty kill themselves! AHH!


	4. Take 4: Caught!

Monkeys: Omg new chaptah!

Lizard: Oh god…

Monkeys: stfu *flicks him*

Lizard: TO THE HOSTS!

_To the Hosts_

Sakura: And another section of the hosts.

Sora: Annoying?

Riku: Only 'cause you're here..

Misty: Agreed.

Sora: oh God.

Sakura: WHAT? 

Riku: To the Mountain. 

_To The Mountain_

Roxas sighed. Axel really didn't seem to care that everyone had found them out. But Roxas cared. What if Xion found out? Roxas couldn't imagine Xion's non-existent heart breaking. Axel felt Roxas shiver next to him and sighed, "She won't find out," he told Roxas, not hiding his pain. Roxas wasn't ready to come out of the closet.

In another room, Sasori and Deidara fell back onto Sasori's bed in a pant. "I didn't," Deidara said with a grin, "know I was missing out on this much."

Sasori smirked and tried to keep his breathing under control. Deidara is the only one who can know. He didn't want the other butting in. Or maybe he was afraid of them taking Deidara away from him. He didn't know. How could he know? He just realized his feelings. Deidara cuddled up to him and fell asleep. This was where Sasori wanted to be.

In the next room, Itachi and Kisame had their ears on the wall, laughing quietly. The soundproof rooms lie was in effect.

Itachi had had the great idea. Kisame had spread it. Their alliance with Kakuzu didn't even withstand the hilarious lie. Itachi didn't think anyone could, besides Kisame.

_The next day_

_Akatsuki_

Itachi and the rest of the clan turned their heads, hearing a door open. Itachi smirked, seeing Deidara sneak out of Sasori's room. Seeing Deidara's look-in-the-headlights expression was priceless to him, he laughed which seemed to stress everyone out. Nobody had heard Itachi laugh. Itachi was usually emo. After Deidara, came Sasori, looking innocent and cautious. Seeing the others, watching him and Deidara, Sasori tried to plaster a smile and say, "Oh, hi, everyone."

Itachi smiled smugly, "have fun last night?"

Sasori looked horrified for a second, making the others behind Itachi laugh. Sasori swallowed hard and said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Itachi."

Itachi grinned and shook his head, "Whatever you say," and with that, Itachi and Kisame walked off to the kitchen down stairs. Sasori flinched, turned, and walked away with Deidara. He would deal with them later. Right now, his attention was focused somewhere else.

_Organization XIII_

Roxas couldn't believe Vexen heard them last night. **Did he have super hearing? **Roxas thought that over, shaking his head after another second. His thoughts were ridiculous. He barely got any sleep last night, worried about what the others would say. **But does it matter what they said about us? **Roxas frowned for a second, thinking about that and coming up with a good answer. He came up with none. How could a simple answer be the answer to a complicated question? He couldn't think anymore. It made him sad. He didn't particularly want to be sad. It was too complex. Everything had another meaning, another choice. He couldn't end Axel's love, but he couldn't be open about it yet.

_To the Creator_

Monkeys: Sorry, short chapter, I've hit a giant brick wall in the story T~T So I'll take ideas! Me love you long time! JK!

Lizard: Oh wow..

Monkeys: it's a little late to explain, but Lizard is my over-dramatic brother. So yeah! Chapter 5 preview…

_**Xemnas only spoke one name for elimination. Roxas was relieved, sighing. Axel grinned a little, feeling like he had gotten revenge already. Sakura smiled, handing the unlucky member his bags, ushering him out of the Mountain Hotel lobby. He would no longer compete for the Organization. The Akatsuki was ahead one member, but today's challenge might change things. The challenge? The teams would have to make a worthy invention. **_

_**Later…**_

"_**An automatic duck-feeder?" Hidan screeched at Tobi, "What the fuck?" **_

_**Tobi looked hurt for a second, cowering back. He thought it was a good idea. Madara's great ideas didn't come to him very often recently. "B-But Tobi thought it was a good idea!"**_

_**Hidan ran his hand through his hair, stressed about the challenge. Pain had ordered them to split into pairs, get a good idea, then reunite for the best. Hidan joined with Tobi, hoping to get a glimpse of Madara's ideas, only to be disappointed when Tobi's ideas were more dominant. He gave up, "whatever, build it." **_


	5. Take 5: The Wooden Jaw

Monkeys: TWO Chapters at once!

Lizard: May god have mercy.

Monkeys: Beware of the EMO LIZARD

Lizard: Just get it over and say it.

Monkeys: I don't own any characters, songs, or anything except the ONE character and my pretty little imaginary mountain on the coastline of my imagination! Any names related to any real places or people, living or dead, are completely coincidental!

Lizard: god that was longer than usual

Monkeys: that's what she said. TO THE HOSTS!

_To the Hosts…_

Sakura: WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, BITCH?

Sora: Uhm, Sakura! 

Misty: I THINK I DO! You. Are. A. WHORE!

Riku: So anyways, it's a wonderful day here in Monkey's Imagination! The weather happens to be very, VERY windy. The challenge today is to make a worthy invention so we can sell it to make a profit.

Sora: You weren't supposed to say that.

Sakura: Well you're a gold digger!

Riku: what? It costs big money to rent this place! 

Misty: WHAT?

Sora: To the set!

_To the Mountain Set!_

_Akatsuki_

Sasori felt himself being watched as he made his way downstairs to the basement to put his cloak in one of the washing machines. He couldn't think of any reasonable ways to check without seeming paranoid. It was probably just one of the Organization's spies. He didn't need any more rumors. He could see it now: 'Akatsuki's team member Sasori paranoid or what?' on every newspaper. He shuddered a little. Ever since Deidara began paying him little visits in the night, everyone wanted the dirty details. 'Who goes first'? 'How long does it last'? And other little dirty questions. The only thing that kept him from losing his mind was the fact that he and Deidara weren't the only poor saps who fell for the stupid joke. He had heard that their enemies' had had a loud awakening involving the little emo kid Roxas and the really tall weirdo Axel. He laughed a little, life sucks. As he emitted the small laugh, he closed his eyes for a fraction of a second; it only took that little time for him to not notice a ridiculously placed board that was laid on the ground. He tripped, falling down and paying a visit to his new best friend, the floor.

"Shit," he muttered, noticing that the bottom piece to his facial structure had fallen off and to the floor. He picked up his jaw, as if it happened every day. He would now need to perform surgery on his own head. He sighed, noticing it only came out as a hiss of air. The problem with these wooden bodies, they needed to be fixed regularly. He was about to stand up when he just about fell on his face again. His left arm was missing. He tried to mumble another word but he really couldn't speak. Just as he was about to give up and decide to make another later, he felt a small tap on his shoulder. He spun around.

A small girl, about the age of ten, was holding his fallen left arm and looking a little frightened at his missing jaw. She held the arm out to him. He studied her face for a few seconds, storing it in his memory to thank her later. He nodded, taking the arm as she ran off towards the stairs that led up to the main floor.

_Organization Xiii_

Sakura rolled her eyes, waiting for the leader of these weirdoes to speak the name and get it over with. She actually already knew who would go. They all had to vote and it was starting to turn into a popularity contest. Roxas wouldn't go, everyone loves the little emo. But Vexen, on the other hand, wasn't the most beloved member right now.

"Vexen," Xemnas said, looking out of the large window that overlooked the small pond on the east side of the mountain, "you are to go. Your actions have been looked upon and judged by your peers. We have voted, go now."

Vexen took a step back, with a little gasp, as Sakura handed him his bag and ushered him out of the door. He didn't know that his team pretty much hated him. It wasn't his fault. Zexion heard a few sighs in relief, mostly Axel and Roxas, but he surprised himself by adding his sigh to the mix. He hadn't meant to sigh, just to stay quiet and continue reading his novel. But he wasn't very interested in it anymore. He would rather listen to other people's drama. Did this make him a bad person?

"Zexion," Demyx asked cautiously, "did you just sigh?"

Zexion raised his eye brow, playing it cool. "Releasing the contents of my lungs at the same moment you fools sighed is completely coincidental."

Demyx held up his hands, backing off and not completely getting all of Zexion's statement. He hated it when Zexion used big words.

_Later… Into the Challenge room!_

Riku, standing alone on the little stage and facing his contestants, was about to release the new challenge. This challenge would last a little longer than the last one. They would only have about twelve hours to complete it. He knew they wouldn't like it, but it wasn't their decision. "You will make a worthy invention," he said it simply, as if it were that simple. All the planning and designing going into their inventions would have to be worth Sora and Riku's time. Riku heard a few nervous chattering sessions amongst the teams. He shook his head, turned and walked out. They could figure something out.

_Later in the Akatsuki's floor_

"You will pair up," Pain told everyone, "I'm with Konan. Itachi, instead of Kisame, how about Zetsu."

"You're kidding me," Itachi stared his leader down.

Pain went on, though. "Tobi is with Hidan, and Tobi promises everyone that he will try to let Madara get ideas. Kakuzu, you're with Deidara. And that leaves the two remaining members." Pain waved them away, an order to get to work.

Kisame barked a laugh, this would be fun. Sasori wouldn't last the first hour with him.

Hidan was pretty happy to be paired with a sometimes-smart member. He would be worshipped by his peers after he and Madara come up with a winning invention and lead them to their second win. He could see the gold.

_Only an hour later…_

"An automatic duck-feeder?" Hidan screeched at Tobi, "What the fuck?"

Tobi looked hurt for a second, cowering back. He thought it was a good idea. Madara's great ideas didn't come to him very often recently. "B-But Tobi thought it was a good idea!"

Hidan ran his hand through his hair, stressed about the challenge. Pain had ordered them to split into pairs, get a good idea, and then reunite for the best. Hidan joined with Tobi, hoping to get a glimpse of Madara's ideas, only to be disappointed when Tobi's ideas were more dominant. He gave up, "Whatever build it."

It had only been an hour, but Konan and Pain had come up with nothing. Pain was more into things that would cause destruction; Konan would roll her eyes, saying only short sentences. Her ideas weren't any better.

"How about," Pain began with a spark in his eyes, "a baby crib that enclosed with spike to kill the little bastard?"

Konan filed her finger nails, "flying pillows."

Pain's shoulders slumped for a second. Just as he was about to admit defeat, he jumped up. "How about-"

Konan glanced up at him, waiting for his so-called great idea. Pain's heart skipped a little. She never looked him in the eye. It was one of those rare moments that Pain was rendered speechless. Konan raised a brow at him, "well?"

Pain swallowed hard, blinked a few times, and sat back down, shaking his head. "Never mind," he told her with a sigh. He hated this feeling. This weird feeling that felt like butterflies. Maybe he should talk to Kakuzu and Sasori about having surgery done and removing the problem. But keep it in a jar, of course. Maybe Konan would like it. A pretty little stomach butterfly.

"For the billionth time," Sasori growled at Kisame, "I will not help you with any shark implant surgeries!"

Kisame pouted and protested, "Sharks need help too!"

Sasori shook his head, ending the invention debate. Kisame had only thought of sharks. **How could Itachi deal with this guy? **He often thought to himself with a sad chuckle, knowing he would be with him instead of Deidara for twelve hours. His jaw still needed a few finishing touches, but he wouldn't trust Kisame enough to help him. He would rather have had Deidara help him repair himself. His arm was attached, thankfully. Sasori wasn't in a mood to admit his ideas. Nor could he. He couldn't talk very well with his injured jaw. Sasori was trying to pop it into place with his finger while Kisame babbled about the good things to come of Shark surgeries, when his jaw fell off again.

"Oh, shit," Kisame yelled and pointed at the fallen jaw. Sasori waved him off, rolling his eyes. But Kisame forgot the puppet fact. "Sasori's jaw fell off," he screamed. Sasori tried to smack him but he spun around and ran away. He sighed, knowing it only sounded like a train's hiss. He really needed Deidara.

_To The Creator!_

Monkeys: Hehe.

Lizard: Poor Sasori.

Monkeys: Will you do the honor?

Lizard: PRESS THE PRETTY REVIEW BUTTON OR DIE!

Monkeys: Too much there…

Lizard: Oh well.


	6. Complication 1: Author's Note!

AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Okay guys, love the reviews but for some random stuff…

Yep I played the game, and if you might be mad about the emo kind of Roxas, then sorry. But I'm keeping it that way. It's called "fanfiction" for a reason, you know. I want things MY way.

The whole Pain and Konan thing? Yeah that's a joke haha. It'll be an even worse mess soon. (okay now I'm just answering one person) Again, it's called a FANFICTION for a REASON! I don't own anything except the conversations they have that I made up thank you very much!

On another note…

I won't be writing much. School has started and I've been trying to get good grades. I'll be writing a chapter probably every other week. If you guys could make more reviews, that'd be great! Don't be so harsh, though! It's mostly a joke, jeez! Okay so I have a chapter on Amu's Chemical Romance so look for the updates! Thanks guys!

-Monkeys


	7. Take 6: Tobi's Quest for Koko Part 1

Monkeys: Omigod, so, WHATS UP!

Lizard: …

Monkeys: I'm addicted to Adele right now... Mkay to the judges..

_TO THE JUDGES! WOOSH!_

Sora: Okaaay!

Riku: Yeah….

Sora: God… what to say?

Riku: I dunno. 

Sora: well… as most of you see, we are the only judges. Due to the fact that our other ones were…

Riku: crazy? 

Sora: well… you could put it that way…

Riku: okay, it's NOT Shugo Chara Doki Time! It's time to go to our beautiful mountain! And Yes, we paid this month's rent, so we don't have a challenge yet. 

Sora: we could make them make us breakfast.

Riku: Omigod, we should…

Sora: I'll tell them the challenge then.

_TO THE MOUNTAIN!_

"Sasori!" Deidara screeched, waking up next to an extra wooden arm one morning. Sasori instantly sat up in a daze. What crazy shit went down last night? He glanced around, seeing wooden limbs, a few bananas, a mouse to a computer, a few toothpicks, and a tiger mask. Deidara was also looking around, rubbing the red mark on his cheek from sleeping on the hand. Deidara met Sasori's gaze. They both knew nothing of the night.

"Well," Sasori chuckled, making his still-broken jaw fall off.

Deidara frowned, he hadn't noticed that before. "We need to fix that." Sasori only nodded, sighing another train hiss. Deidara slipped out of his bed, tip-toeing over the wooden limbs, and made his way to the bathroom, screeching again. "Hidan! What the fuck?"

Sasori got up quickly, camera in hand, and scrambled past the limbs and over to the small bathroom, eager to see the immortal's strange appearance in their lost memory. There Hidan sat, slumped against the bathtub with his hand raised against the light. "What the fuck are you doing in my room lady?" He slurred, reaching for a bottle of vodka on the sink.

Deidara frowned as Sasori took a picture, Hidan only flipped them off. "You're in our room, Hidan." Hidan narrowed his eyes, looked around for any sign of a lie, and saw none. He sat up, rubbed his head, and started to laugh. Sasori tried to laughed nervously, wanting to be in on the joke too, but being jawless made that hard.

"Crazy night, huh?" Hidan chuckled. "We really must be fucked up today." Sasori nodded, he was missing a finger on his left hand and both of his big toes. One crazy night did this to him? Deidara seemed to have a headache, he kept rubbing his temples. Hidan got up and simply walked out, heading to his room. Enough crazy for today.

Itachi, watching from one of the couches that lined the walls, only laughed. A bottle of vodka here, a glass of spiked punch there, and you had a threesome for the gays.

Tobi knew he shouldn't have gone to get a snowcone today. Lately, he was always in the wrong place at the wrong time. He often spotted Axel and Roxas making out in the kitchen, Pain stalking Konan in the living room, and Itachi pouring beer into Deidara and Sasori's drinks. Today, it was Pain and Konan.

"Listen," Pain paused, smiling nervously at Konan, "I've been thinking about how the rooms are set up and wondered if you might help me set something out."

Tobi had seen the reaction on Konan's face. It was a 'oh my god will he ever shut up?' look.

Pain obviously didn't see it. Konan rolled her eyes but nodded, that was her job wasn't it?

Roxas often told Tobi about Xemnas and Saix's complicated relationship. Roxas had described it as Pain and Konan's. Xemnas wasn't interest, just like Konan. But Saix's job as second in command was to help the leader in any way needed. Even if it was just a booty call.

Whatever that was. Tobi didn't know, he just heard Deidara and Sasori and one of their fights when Deidara had said it. Sometimes they were so confusing. Madara would know though. He knew a lot.

**Talk to Konan, **Madara urged him in his head, **she doesn't like Pain, she needs a man. **

And just like that, Tobi knew he wanted Konan. He stepped out of his dark corner and towards Konan with a hidden smile.

_How could I say no? _

_She's got a love like woe_

_Girl's got a love like woe. _

Monkeys: sorry, not much there.. but it'll hold you guys over. RNR!

Lizard: by the way… the song is Love Like Woe by The Ready Set.


	8. Take 7: Xemnas and Saix!

Moneys: Okay, I'm writing as many chapters for 3 stories as I can... As you notice, Lizard is gone, for now, and is replaced by… Snake (my cousin)

Snake: Well then…

Monkeys: Yeah… pretty interesting.

Snake: Cool... let's go get Cole.

Monkeys: Maybe later.

Snake: _FINEEE!_

Monkeys: Do you know what to say?

Snake: Uh sure…. You're a bitch, shut up, and let's go get your bf.

Monkeys: NOT MY BF!

Snake: Moneys doesn't own any of the characters or songs or anything else except that Mountain from her imagination.

Monkeys: -sniffles- they grow up so fast…! Just yesterday I remember he was into everything and anything pink… -trails off-

_Uh… to the hosts._

Sora: Well... Lizard is with us to be a host. 

Lizard: indeed.

Riku: Oh yeah and we have Lady Gaga.

Sora: Uh no we don't.

Riku: Well we DID.

Lizard: Until Kisame got hungry.

Sora: Oh well.

_To Kisame?_

The Akatsuki all sat in the living room, eyes on the shark-man. Kisame smiled nervously, burping occasionally. Pain spoke first, "Why, Kisame, did you eat Lady Gaga?" He wasn't having a good day. Pain had given him shit for a long time about eating people, but who cares? Pain was just mad because, in fact, not all the Akatsuki members were here. The only two missing were Konan and Tobi. And by now, everyone knew that Tobi had pulled the Madara-hit-and-run. He hit on Konan, asked her out, and then made a quick retreat before Pain even noticed.

"I got hungry," Kisame grinned a mouthful of pointy teeth, coated in red. Itachi made a face, Deidara gagged. What was the big deal? It's not like she was anyone important. Sasori only shook his head, not that he could speak anyways. And who was he to judge Kisame? His puppet-weirdness was quite frightening. His jaw had fallen off last time they tried to work together.

_**Flashback!**_

_Sasori was trying to pop it into place with his finger while Kisame babbled about the good things to come of Shark surgeries, when his jaw fell off again._

_"Oh, shit," Kisame yelled and pointed at the fallen jaw. Sasori waved him off, rolling his eyes. But Kisame forgot the puppet fact. "Sasori's jaw fell off," he screamed. Sasori tried to smack him but he spun around and ran away. He sighed, knowing it only sounded like a train's hiss. _

"You and I," Kisame's stomach sang, "You You and I, Oh yeah, we're gonna die!" Kisame smacked his stomach, hearing her yell again.

Pain shook his head, running his hand through hair. This was just too much for him.

_To the Organization!_

Saix and Xemnas collapsed onto the big king-sized bed, panting. "That was great," Saix smiled, osculating down Xemnas's jaw. Xemnas sighed contently, relaxing. A knock at the door had Saix rolling off and under the bed.

"Leader," Axel yawned, not noticing that Xemnas was pulling up the blankets faster than a jet, "Demyx won't leave Larx alone. They've been going at it forever, and Larx sounds like a guy."

"Axel, get out!" Xemnas groaned, instantly becoming aware of Saix's clothes scattered around the room.

Axel frowned, now noticing the messy room. "Leader," he said slowly with a smile, "if you don't fix this, I might have to go to your second in command."

Xemnas had never been black-mailed in his life. He suddenly knew what Axel would do. Axel wouldn't be gentle on the situation; he would announce it to the world. Then Saix and Xemnas would be exposed. The Organization would split.

He would have to let Axel have the power, for now.

"Fine," Xemnas face-palmed, "but if you tell even just one soul about this, and then the deal is off."

"Why should I care? If that person knows, they'll tell, not me."

Xemnas stood up, sheet around his waist, and grabbed Axel by his hair, jostling him against the wall. "Because if one person knows, I will give the orders to let Larxene and Demyx have all the dirty sex they want. And I'll get Roxas and Xion to have a drinking night again. God knows Roxas loves to experiment."

Axel gasped, "you monster!" How could he bring up that? Axel and Roxas had finally gotten over that, but everyone just has to bring it back up. Seconds passed, no one said anything. Saix stood up slowly from the corner, somewhat waving to Axel. Axel looked around timidly, not looking at naked Saix.

Moneys: Well?

Snake: Eh…

Lizard: Yeah…

Monkeys: What!  
>Lizard: Fine, nothing.<p>

Snake: yeah!

Lizard: Okay you know the deal R-

Snake: R 'n' R! Songs were… You and I by Lady Gaga

Monkeys: may her soul rest in peace

Lizard: WE'RE KIDDING, BY THE WAY!

Monkeys: Yeah, seriously, she's not really dead.

Snake: Obviously. So RNR!

Moneys and Lizard: THEY GROW UP SO FAST!

"Roxas," Xion jogged to catch up with him.

"Oh hey, Xion," Roxas slowed down, letting her catch up, "what's up?"

Xion beamed, pulling Tobi's mask out of her jacket. Roxas rolled his eyes and grabbed it. Xion made a sound of dislike. Xion didn't get why Roxas had made a coalition to the mask enthusiast on the other team.


	9. Complication 2: Another Note

Dear Readers...

Sooo this is just a random note that I will post.

I MIGHT or might NOT continue writing on this site, but to all my readers, I have updated some of the status's on my stories. To view them (as of like... March something), just go to the link I will list below.

So, real quick...

USE

That's it :DD

Happy late celebrations that make me say Happy whatever.

-Sammie (AkA Monkeys) and Fluffy (AkA Lizard)

* * *

><p>.com3728923-in-the-brightest-hour-of-my-darkest-days

THAT, my children, is my story/blog and I host previews to my other stories on here and on there sometimes. Annnnd if you ever feel like reading what goes on in my messed up mind, it's there too. SO HAVE FUN!

Story Of How We Came To Be series is up! First book ongoing as we type!


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